These last few months have been filled with lots of questions - lots of hurt, lots of truth being revealed in its sometimes dark completeness, lots of wondering what I truly want next, lots of debating with myself if I really know, if I really want to.
There are days that I just want to fall onto the ground and stay there. It is those times that I have had help getting back up - from friends that have proven true, from family that have proven loyalty, and from myself.
It is this last piece - myself - that I would like to honor today.
I feel like it is the day that you find yourself without a goal, without a dream, that you must ask yourself the TRUE QUESTION: If you have nothing, what do you truly want? If you have nothing, you have the whole world to dream, to look ahead.
So I have to ask myself: What do I truly want?
I am so blessed to have a pair of horses that are amazing, a dog that makes me laugh, a group of people around me to remind me every day that I am here for a reason.
And so today, like every day before this, I will get up off the ground, look ahead, and start to dream again... dream big enough for the world.
And then some.
TO MY READERS: What do you dream? If you have the world, what is your greatest desire? What do you do to pick yourself up when you are down? I look forward to hearing from you!
Patience - silence - indecision - a feeling of being lost - directionless - empty.
It's a place between worlds, between what was and what will be. A place of loss of expectation and of wanting something my way. A time of blankness rather than confusion.
Maybe it feels sad - it can, of course. Or perhaps it can feel bleak. Meaningless.
But then I wake to a new dawn and can see another day of beauty. It's the small moments - the puff of a horse's breathe, the twitch f a tree branch, the quiet of the day just as the snow starts to fall heavy and slow.
The moments are counted in heartbeats.
And maybe that is the place where we can finally begin.
Begin to start the journey again. To count the breaths in the day rather than the success of the greater whole. To appreciate the smallest try rather than the goal. To live in the now rather than the past or the future.
I hope that you can join me here - in the silence of the moment, in the stillness between the notes. The perfection of the present will bring the amazement of the future.
TO MY READERS:
Have you lived here as well? How did you bring joy to this moment rather than sorrow? How do you smile - when all you feel is emptiness? How much fuller is life when you live in each of its moments?
I look forward to hearing from you. Blessings,
Every day has become a new adventure --- it is a time of great change for me and also of great excitement and curiosity.
Has the new year been this way for other people too? It seems that several of my friends and family have also experienced a change in their lives in the last month.
For me, this last month was a whirlwind - but I am still very passionate and enthusiastic about each new dawn.
I think that it is interesting that for me it takes a complete shaking up of my life for me to look out at the world and really see it. The sky has been a stunning shade of blue - the snow is extra clean and fresh - even basic things like a lovely hot tub soak or a walk in a fresh snow flurry are special.
And perhaps this is why we face change - not so much to rattle our bones and make us face our fears, but instead for us to remove the cloth over our eyes and to let us really see what is around us again.
I have enjoyed being able to simply sit and listen to the horses eat munch contently on hay or wicker when I come to check on them. To watch the snow fall and feel the cool tickle of a snowflake as it lands against my eye lashes.
I look forward to this coming year - to see new faces and to be able to share fun with old ones. To see new horses and to smile at the changes in the ones I have already met.
I look forward to seeing new people on the journey. I wonder just who will be joining me as the year rolls onwards?
Blessings to all of you --- and to everyone, have a great year!
Mattie Cowherd loves sharing her passion for horses, nature, and learning. Join her for some fun thoughts and adventures. Mattie loves writing, teaching, horse care, and --- well --- horses!